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Instead of chalking it up to that person being a jerk.


Andrew

This is re posted.


Andrew Keller

Every morning, Larry and I dig into a form or idea that has caught our eye. Our hope is that our chat inspires you to never stop thinking and possibly challenges you in a new way. If you'd like to help support the show, please visit patreon.com slash reposted. Thank you for stopping by.


Larry

All right, I'm super excited about today's topic because it comes from author chip Gaines. Who I like because he looks a lot like you. I don't know if you if you got that vibe, Andrew.


Andrew Keller

Yeah, maybe I think author chips. Gaines is not the correct nomenclature for him. I think it's home builder, and Mo, design mogul,


Larry

design mogul. I like that term. Hey, listen, chips multifaceted. It's a excerpt from his book in relevant magazine entitled, The revolutionary act of assuring the best about others. Here's the quote, next time someone is short with you in line at the grocery store, instead of chalking it up to that person being a jerk. Ask yourself if maybe there's something going on in that person's life, that would make it hard for them to find the energy to be polite now, so we have to give us the waitress example, here on the repose to Joe, the waitress is rude. And then you don't want to tip her. But one of one of our friends is rude. We give them a pass, right? Because while we know them, but our friends have bad days, right? And then people that don't know them, don't tip our friends, the waitress. So if we're giving people passes, why don't we just give it to everyone that Andrew?


Andrew Keller

So you're saying the next time you're rude to me, I should Venmo you $5 and like, hey, sure,


Larry

work on your


Andrew Keller

attitude? I think that I mean, this is definitely true. And when you're sitting calmly in your house, or you're just sitting calmly thinking about this, in general, you're like, Oh, of course, I should, I should be able to think about what what other people are going through in the moment, when you're on your last nerve, someone can kind of push you over the edge. And it's harder to control yourself from seeing read. So I mean, I like the sentiment, and it's something I try to live by. But I don't know the best way to try to achieve that by when I'm upset.


Larry

So we've actually had this conversation in my house, me and my wife, all will be in an argument or a discussion about something and I'm like, Hey, can you just assume the best of me, you actually know me the best. We've lived together for a long time, you know, me, and she still assumes the worst of me, that guy that she's married to? Well,


Andrew Keller

do you have the best intentions? Or is she correct?


Larry

No, I mean, not always. But this idea once again, of whether it's your your spouse, your partner, or someone down the street, why not get into the mindset of, Hey, you know what, maybe that person's just having a bad day, and I'll give them a pass.


Andrew Keller

I guess I agree with that. But the counter side of that is, you can't presuppose everyone has your best interest at heart. And I think you kind of put up defenses because you don't want to get taken advantage of. So like maybe if someone cuts in front of you in line in the grocery store, which is a pretty innocuous example, maybe you're like, Okay, go ahead, and then all of a sudden, everyone's get in front of you. So there's like some level of needing to protect yourself from other people who might have not necessarily nefarious, but like their interest at heart over yours. And so it's like, there is a line of taking care of yourself versus just giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. Well, what


Larry

I think chip is saying, why don't we flip that mindset and assume that everybody does have our best interest at heart and go that other way?


Andrew Keller

Yes. I mean, I agree with that. But it's like, Hey, can I borrow $100? And you're like, well, you still haven't paid me back. 1000 you let me borrow two months ago? Like At what point you see what I'm saying? Like at some point, you need to be able to stand up for yourself for lack of a better term, beat. But I mean, I agree that you should be able to assume the best in people. But there there comes a point where you have to be like, hey, knock it off.


Larry

One of the taglines and chips book is get comfortable with being uncomfortably kind. So I'm assuming what he's saying is like, hey, let everybody catch you off. Anybody asked you for many give it to him be uncomfortable with being overtly kind. I feel like he's almost sort of challenges like, hey, guess see what happens when you just get cut off and ever get up? Get over a link because you're gonna let everybody in? Yeah,


Andrew Keller

I don't think that's something I can do. I can, I can try to do it. But there are aspects. I think everyone has different soft spots in their life for me, soft spot being like, you're more sensitive. So like, if someone cuts me off in traffic, I'm a lot more upset than Nicole would. But some contractor shows up 30 minutes late. I'm more like that's how it goes. And she's gonna get upset. So I guess maybe the best way to practices is identify what you get most upset about and try to do in that area of life.


Larry

Is there a status quo amongst people like for instance, if you're back to the waitress thing, waiter or waitress? If they're having a bad day, do you instantly not tip them? But if you run into a lawyer friend of yours, do you give them a pass? Do we have a status quo? And we judge people on that, on that level on their level?


Andrew Keller

I think we do. I think you judge people based on appearance, probably first and foremost. Like, if, if I asked you for money, not me, if someone that looked like me asked you for money, you might say, if I was like, hey, my car broke down, can I have $5 for gas? Like that's, that's a good example of like, you've gotten that pitch so many times at a gas station, and you're like, Alright, well, I know what you're doing, like your car didn't really break down. But like, at some point, that is true. So I think there is a status quo and it kind of depends on what people look like. And I guess that goes back to my thought of protecting yourself and survival. Your your primal instincts go back to like making a snap judgment to protect yourself rather than give all your money away.


Larry

It's there's some sort of movie. It's like maybe a kids movie where they had to say yes to everything that they're that someone asked them to that day. Liar, liar. No, no, no, that's lying. But I feel like there was like, well, there's the new movie from Jennifer, whatever name is called yesterday where she has to do everything your kids ask her. So I'm sort of like the adult version would be like, if anybody asks you for anything or anybody needs anything. You just got to say yes.


Andrew Keller

I mean, that's, that's the improv one on one class. Okay. Yes, everything, which I mean, I'm flip flopping back and forth on this topic today. But like, that is a better way to live your life. I think I've said yes. More in my life in the last five years since I've been doing improv than I did before. And I would, I would say that my life is happier now than it was before.


Larry

Look at that. I like to someone says like, Hey, can I borrow 10 bucks? You're like, yes. And I have it in quarters. So you give them a roll of quarters. This is something that I really believe in. That was an


Andrew Keller

example of not having their best interest at heart


Larry

Really? courses the same it's a tape it's a $10 bill.


Andrew Keller

Well, maybe we can debate the way to pay people like dimes.


Larry

I didn't give him dimes, Kenny. This is like a little Larry, personal theory. I truly believe in people karma. Like how you treat people, not necessarily the ones you know, the ones you don't know, that comes back to you. You never know if you like you're in a bank and someone needs something like Hey, can I get in line or whatever, you try to be nice, not necessarily cutting. You never know if that person might become your best friend. I feel like if you're nice to people, that karma comes back to you in your relationships, I really firmly believe that.


Andrew Keller

I think it probably does. I have one last example that I thought of it's only happened once in my life. I've flown a lot. And I was on one flight where they made the announcement is like, hey, there's some people that have a tight connection. Can everyone stay seated so they can get off? And it did happen? I've heard that announcement a bunch of times and most the time it doesn't. And this time the entire plane set down while people scurried off and that made me happy.


Larry

You know? What if that doesn't happen on that plane flight? Like whoever gets a first day just straight boo him the whole plane just boom.


Andrew Keller

I think the people that are willing to cut in forever net cut in front of everyone don't don't get affected by booing but that's all right.


Larry

Are you like is that karma workout? If you're like hey, we have too many people on the flight ruling give you $100 gift certificate. Is that like a nice thing?


Andrew Keller

Does I think the mob mentality it just takes one person to get up? Now mentality is a strong thing. No,


Larry

but I'm saying like, you know, like, what they're saying like, hey, this flights over booked. Does anybody want to volunteer to get the credit to go on a later flight? Is that current is a good deed or am I being greedy? Because I want the $500 voucher, is that or is that both?


Andrew Keller

I think it could be both. I will Karen down $1,000 voucher one time,


Unknown Speaker

what would you have to be?


Andrew Keller

I didn't have to be anywhere I was. I've spent two days in Amsterdam and that was enough for me and I was like, I cannot spend the third day in Amsterdam.


Larry

Yeah, that is blasphemy. I got a Dutch friend who would punch you right now. You know what's spent another day and fear. Now, lower ball.


Andrew Keller

Well, if you want to punch Larry in the ear, please reach out. You can find us at repost it podcast on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. I'm Andrew Keller for Liar Liar jen karason. And thanks for stopping by



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