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If we don’t talk about these things, then we don’t really know each other.


This is re posted.


Andrew

Hello, and welcome to repost it. In the next few moments we'll be breaking down the posts that we have found to be inspiring, interesting, or otherwise entertaining quotes that catch our eye and we feel are worth a deeper look. Thank you for stopping by.


Larry

I don't know if you noticed Andrew, but times are tough these days everybody's on edge. Everybody has a certain opinion. There's no gray anymore, as we like to say here on the reposts. That's bingo square. So I thought we could have a conversation about having discussions with difficult people. Nice article and nbcnews.com by Sarah de Giulio, nine tips for talking to people you disagree with. Let's start from from a quote from that article from Matteo to vizion, who's a leadership trainer, quote, oftentimes, topics like politics and religion get to the core of someone's identity. One could argue that if we don't talk about these things, we don't really get to know each other. Andrew, I love that we're going to talk about having difficult conversations. I feel like we have nice conversations every


Andrew

day. We only have nice conversations. I want to point out one like small nuance thing, but but I think it matters the beginning you said, having conversations with difficult people. And I think that's a mindset going into they're going to be difficult. And maybe you do need to brace yourself for it. But I think just going in saying I'm going to have an open conversation might be a way that isn't in these nine tips. That's good. But I think that, to your point on not getting to know people, like I've had relationships with people where I just assume they believe a certain way, but we never really talked about it. And those relationships kind of tend to go by the wayside after a while because you don't really get to know who that person is.


Larry

Yeah, it's true. It's true. The my best friends, people that I know the most are ones who I've had fights with, including you, including intern Kirk, the people that I known the best we've got into it and come out better.


Andrew

Yeah, there was nine of these that they go through in the article and one that stuck out to me that I'm not good at is talk less and give the other person space to respond. Because I feel like when you go into an argument, or you going to something that you know you're disagreeing with, someone says something that triggers you, or triggers me that makes me want to jump in and be like, No, no, that was wrong. And when I've seen people who, whether you agree with him or not Jordan Peterson, King of this, hello, it's there until they're done talking. And then he responds and whether you agree with him or not like he doesn't get activated. And I think that's a way he he can talk all day with people he disagrees with.


Larry

Ooh, hashtag Jordan Peterson will get some likes after that. Just to piggyback on what you said there. One of the other tips was don't use the word but like, give people time to talk but then go Don't go but and like kind of ramrod your point on their point?


Andrew

Yeah, I think that's a bingo square a thing of improv of Yes. And like no, but ends a discussion and yes, and continue. You can say yes. And to something you disagree with, like, I think the world is flat. Yes. And other ideas are, there's curvature to the world, like, there's ways that you can keep moving. Another thing that you can do is tell stories, like being able to relate to something like I think it's easy to disagree with a general idea. But when you bring it to a more micro point, you can say, Well, I think this city is this type of a way Well, I went to Seattle, and there's a lot of water that you have to drive around. So the traffic isn't that bad, you just so like getting specific helps you be able to get into it as well.


Larry

Also like this, one of the tips here is resist the Vogue to be provocative. Like, you don't gotta be rush limbaugh when you're having a conversation that Thanksgiving,


Andrew

right? If you're trying to get people to click on your article, or listen to you more, and you're just the talking head, maybe be provocative, but like, if you're actually trying to get to know someone, then that's not really gonna move it forward.


Larry

I think kind of the start of this whole thing for me is, in one of the tips is do you want to go there with a person, like I was thinking about, like, you're in the old days when we used to go to parties and mixers, Andrew, you'd be at somebody's house and you meet somebody for the first time. And you can feel like you meet the husband of someone and you're like, Oh, this guy's a giant turd. And you sort of get want to get into it. Like, it's like, you know what, this guy I'm gonna be here for an hour. I'm never gonna see him again. I should not get into it with this guy.


Andrew

Yeah, I guess maybe that's picking your battles as well. Like you can't have a philosophy deep philosophy will physiological, philosophical, philosophical discussion with every single person you meet. So like pick and choose who you go deep with. Who you would deal with all that to say that like, you can have all these tools in your tool belt, but once you get triggered, it's it's hard to keep a calm head. Right?


Larry

I, one of the tips that's not on this list, and I feel like I talked about it a little bit is that you just don't have to be right, you're a you're not gonna convince someone in a 30 minute conversation about your opinion, after they've lived their life a certain way. And tip number two, you don't have to be right. Like, why is it Why is being right. So important these days?


Andrew

Something that's been coming up to me, for me a lot recently, especially with like the election, I feel like one side says you're evil, and you don't want what's best for the company for your country. The other side says, You're evil, and you don't want what's best for the country. Like, think that maybe people are just looking out for their own interest. And they don't have a malicious intent to try to ruin you. We're not dealing with a Bond villain. It's like I'm trying to get through my day, this is how I am. I'm not trying to take away. I've said this before, but everything comes back to people are concerned with themselves. If you get cut off in traffic, people aren't out to get you. And if someone disagrees with you politically, that doesn't mean they want bad things for you. They just have a different, they have different needs than you do.


Larry

And I really want to make a strong case ever since I've been alive. The person that was either the Republican or Democrat, whether they won or lost, they were pretty good people, they just had a different idea of how they want to fix the problems. And when you go like that person's a bad person, you know, they just have different ideas of how they think they should fix the country. And they're not an evil person.


Andrew

in general. Yeah. People just I don't think they're evil. I like in general,


Larry

in general. Well, I


Andrew

think that we, because because someone's gonna get riled up and be like, Well, here's a specific example of an evil person. So there's always outlier exceptions, but for the most part, I think people are good. Have you been in an argument recently? Did you keep a calm head?


Larry

I did. I did. Yeah. Yeah. It was an It was a political discussion. And I just, I went into it thinking like, I am not going to get riled up and I just ask questions, kept it calm, kept a general, the other side kind of said some things that hurt my feelings, but I was like, you know, I'm just not gonna go there. I'm not just, I'm gonna I'm, I'm getting out of this conversation, and not winning it.


Andrew

Yeah. I think one tip I want to give to anyone listening, if you don't want to actually get to know someone, and you really want to get back at him. You can just be you can keep a calm head and be level headed. I feel like that might rile people up even more. So you can use a technique maliciously, if you'd like.


Larry

I liked it. You talked about Jordan Peterson and using techniques maliciously. Thank you, Andrew. Thank you. Thank you.


Andrew

Well, if you voted for ross perot in 1992, please reach out. You can find us at podcast, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. I'm Andrew Keller for Ralph Nader saying thanks for stopping by


Transcribed by https://otter.ai


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