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Does Distance Really Make The Heart Grow Fonder?


Andrew

Is re posted.


Every morning Larry and I dig into a quote or idea that has caught our eye. Our hope is that our chat inspires you to never stop thinking and possibly challenges you in a new way. If you'd like to help support the show, please visit patreon.com slash repost it. Thank you for stopping by. We've been doing this for so many episodes we've only been in person once. And it is true distance really makes the heart grow fonder. I found this article that came out in 2019. So that was pre pandemic and what really interested me in like, does the heart grow fonder with distance? I mean, the most obvious is relationships. But the pandemic? Have you noticed that like you're missing your friends more? Or what do you think about that? Do you think distance makes the heart grow fonder? Is it out of sight out of mind?


Larry

Well, it's like anything, right? It just kind of romanticizes someone when you're not there, your your memory fades and you think better of them? That's my opinion of that. Right?


Andrew

Yeah, I think you have the revisionist history. And I think that's like a lot of times why the first breakup never takes is because you get lonely and you remember all the good things, and you don't remember the, the tears and the frustration that you have with different people. But I mean, the relationship one is the obvious, but the pandemic one is kind of like, it's a it's a grind.


Larry

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?


Andrew

I've been in a few. Yeah.


Larry

And how was that?


Andrew

I kind of have this theory that it's like you can maintain or it can get worse, but it can't get better. So like, if you're gonna be in a relationship, long distance, like, eventually there has to be you're in the same spot. Because you have to get through the monotony of what day to day is because you're on your best behavior. For a long distance relationship. Like you're gonna go, oh, I'll go see you for three days or a week or whatever. You're like, no, there's an out so you can do something for 10 days or but when you're when you're seeing someone every day, it's a much different situation. I don't think you have have you.


Larry

Well, it's been a really long time. It was like college. But the thing that I was thinking about that's so different today versus the old days, when I would like carrier pigeons have to bring our like written letters to each other is just that you still have like today, if you're long distance, you could text email, you could you're could constantly be in contact, even though you're far away. It's so much different these days. Yeah,


Andrew

I guess that kind of gets to the love languages, though. Right? So it's you have quality time or physical touch. I mean, a physical touch is your love language, long distance is a lot harder. words of affirmation. What's your love language? Larry, do you know?


Larry

That's a great question, man. I gifts. Is that a thing? Is


Unknown Speaker

that what gifts this one? Yeah. I don't think that's what you are. But maybe it maybe it is.


Larry

But my question is, who would choose a long distance relationship? Like you only do that because like someone's got, you're going to college? Or you're taking a job or time off? Like there's nobody's like, I want to be in a long distance relationship. Yeah, I


Andrew

don't think so. I think there is a very small minority that has this thing called living apart together, I have, we have a mutual friend in San Francisco, who's loves the idea of like, being in a relationship, but like, never cohabitating or being long distance is ideal. But that's the outlier.


Larry

Because that person just doesn't like the details of relationships, but like sort of being in one, but once again, doesn't want to like have to be like, Hey, man, can you close the toilet seat?


Andrew

Yeah, I think you become so ingrained in who you are, I think the longer you go, like, I've made it pretty long without getting married. And it's like you, you solidify who you are, and then someone else comes into it, there's like little minor details that have to tweak it. Versus like, if I got married at 20, I hadn't fully formed who I was as an adult, and that would have maybe gone a different way. So


Larry

I might be asking the wrong person. But like, when you're in a long distance relationship, do you have to put a timeframe on it? Do you have to like literally say, Hey, we're gonna, we're gonna do this for a year, and then make it cuz it just seems like it was open ended


Andrew

that with practical advice is putting something on it. But something's always going to come up. I feel like being in a long distance relationship. It's like, Oh, well, we're going to do move, someone's gonna move in six months, and then somehow Something came up the work or money or like, there's always an excuse to do it. And I guess at the end of the day, if you really want to do something, you're going to find a way to do it. And if you really want to be with someone, you're going to find a way to do it. And so it's kind of hard to put that my brother did it for about two years, but I think they had they had the end game in sight because they were both in the military and had to serve for four years. And so once the service was going to be up, but they were in different parts of the world for a while. That was like right when webcams came out, and it was very unreliable to video chat. So I don't know if they would say it was a good thing, but


Larry

they did it. The other thing about this like long distance related relationships, like during a pandemic, is it at the end of the day, like, Oh, crap, I gotta go to go on another zoom call with my girlfriend this time, is that add to the cheese? I just can't do this anymore. Is it like, Oh, you know, is it still special to go talk with that person at the end of the day?


Andrew

I guess if you still want to talk to the person today, no matter what it is, that will be an indicator that that is someone you care about. If it's Yeah, like, Okay, I'm in the right mood. I think this person is attractive. Yeah, that'll do it. But it's like when you when you're feeling bad, or you don't really want to talk and you still want to talk to someone else, then I think that's maybe a good sign. This is kind of gone away from what I thought this was going to be about. It's like relationship advice. But well,


Larry

I mean, cuz I always wondered about this. Like, take Taylor Swift, for example. She's touring 300 days of the year, how does she have a relationship? And you can say, like, well, we do zoom calls. But like, I mean, I'm not trying to make this super sexual, but like, you want to be with the person. And if you're not around them, you're not building the physical intimacy or like, I don't know, I mean, I truly don't know how, as a businessman, it's gone all day. How do you not cheat on your mate? If you're gone all the time?


Andrew

Yeah, I mean, I guess that's the good question. It's, I know who you are. And then that now I'm starting to wonder, like, does this only apply to possibly intimate relationships? Right, so it's like, yeah, I have friends I haven't talked to for a while and I'm not that sad about it.


Larry

Yeah, I, there's definitely romanticism in long distance, relationships. And it might be different. Like I'm thinking about, like my friend guy friends down in Southern California that I haven't seen forever. But if I lived next door to them, it would be Oh,


Andrew

yeah. Well, the doorbell rings means that this episode is over. If you have a few posts you'd like us to explore please reach out. You can find us at reposting podcast on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. I'm Andrew Keller for the hotlines. And thanks for stopping by



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